PLAYWRITING
Full Length Plays
Sunny Shores
- Art Effects Theatre Company, NYC (staged reading only)
Women Who Run with Scissors
- The Duplex NYC
RANT: The Trials and Tribulations of Dating in NYC
- Solo Play
- The Secret Theatre, NYC
The Social Studies Teacher
http://www.cooptheatreeast.org/radio-cote.html
Short Plays:
I Feel Fat
- Ticket to Eternity Productions
The Love Rat
- Perchance to Dream Theatre NYC
The Believers
- Perchance to Dream Theatre NYC
Sketch Comedy
Scapegoat Productions - 2002 -Present
I wrote and performed in various sketch comedy pieces.
Venues included : The Duplex, Don't Tell Mama's, Upright Citizens Brigade, the Magnet and the Red Room.
Eight is Never Enough - 2003-2004
I wrote various sketch comedy pieces including parodies of American Idol,
Britney Spears, and various political figures.
We performed at various comedy clubs in the tri state area.
Education
HB Studios 2001
Studied playwriting with William Packard
Emerson College 1992
B.F.A. Acting
Minor in Creative Writing
Excerpt from Sunny Shores
a full-length play
LISA
How was your flight?
SARAH
Do you know what its like to fly coach from New York to Florida during spring break season?
LISA
That doesn’t sound pleasant. What’s on your neck?
SARAH
Leftover prop blood, its really hard to get out, though it is surprisingly tasty. I recognized three women from the girl’s gone wild video on the plane.
LISA
I know, spring break time is so annoying, if I hear Boom Boom Boom Let’s Go Back to My Room one more time I’m going to hurl. Speaking of hurling did I tell you-I’m pregnant!
SARAH
Do you know who the father is?
LISA
Why does everyone keep asking me that? I mean okay, for awhile I was seeing Steve and Todd at the same time but then Steve went to Hawaii for some surfing thing and I thought, my God I don’t want some 40 year old surfer to be my husband. That’s why I’m going to marry Todd. He’s an investment banker.
SARAH
So Todd’s the sperm donor.
LISA
He is much more than a sperm donor. He loves me and I love him and we are going to get married. I mean we could get married in a couple of months but then I would have to get one of those maternity wedding gowns, but that is so white trash, and you know Vera Wang does not design maternity wedding dresses. I mean I could get an off the rack wedding dress at Kmart or something but how tacky is that? I still don’t know do I want a big wedding or a small wedding? Should I invite Chrissy? I don’t know if I want a June wedding or a September wedding? (Cell phone rings)Hello. For the love of God stop calling me! I know he’s your husband, but he won’t be for long. And for the love of God stop crying. (Hangs up)Are you seeing anyone?
SARAH
No
LISA
Come on, there must be someone
SARAH
I don’t want to talk about it
LISA
Come on, I’m your cousin, I’m family, you can tell me
SARAH
Well there was James
LISA
Cute?
SARAH
Of Course
LISA
Soooo….
SARAH
After a year and a half of dating he gets cast in this tour of King Lear. And two weeks into it he’s all “ I think the Fool is secretly in love with Cordelia” Needless to say he’s fucking her, stupid Cordelia, fucking whore. I hope she dies. That’s the trouble with those Goddamn Shakespeare guys at first its all “shall I compare the to a summer’s day” and a year and a half later its “oh that this too too solid flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew”
LISA
Well you see, what you need to realize is that a relationship takes work. Like Todd. Technically he’s still married but he is SEPERATED! When things in a relationship are challenging, I don’t walk away, I work through it. Todd and I communicate. The divorce proceedings are in the works. She can’t have children and I can and after five abortions I’m keeping this one because(beat) I’ve been feeling kind of aimless lately and I really feel like a baby would ground me. (To traffic) Hey! Choose a lane dickhead! (To Sarah) So, you’re mom is looking a lot better now that she is out of ICU. I mean when she was in ICU she looked awful and now she’s better, but she’s deteriorated since the last time you saw her- when was the last time you saw her?
SARAH
Virginia’s funeral
LISA
She looks good, just different. That’s why I wanted to take you to the hospital, because I love you-(to traffic) don’t you cut me off ASSHOLE!
I love being pregnant but the worst part of it is that I really want a cigarette! I can’t drink I can’t smoke pot, and my hormones are out of control! All right, we’re here! I’ll come back later; I have to make wedding plans with Todd
SARAH
You’re not coming up?
LISA
Sarah, I’m planning a wedding!
(Lights down. Lights up. Hospital Room)
SARAH
Mom?
FRANCES
Sarah. I’m so glad you’re here
SARAH
Is there anything I can do? Is there anything you need?
FRANCES
No dear I’m fine, the maid was just here.
SARAH
You mean the nurse.
How was your flight?
SARAH
Do you know what its like to fly coach from New York to Florida during spring break season?
LISA
That doesn’t sound pleasant. What’s on your neck?
SARAH
Leftover prop blood, its really hard to get out, though it is surprisingly tasty. I recognized three women from the girl’s gone wild video on the plane.
LISA
I know, spring break time is so annoying, if I hear Boom Boom Boom Let’s Go Back to My Room one more time I’m going to hurl. Speaking of hurling did I tell you-I’m pregnant!
SARAH
Do you know who the father is?
LISA
Why does everyone keep asking me that? I mean okay, for awhile I was seeing Steve and Todd at the same time but then Steve went to Hawaii for some surfing thing and I thought, my God I don’t want some 40 year old surfer to be my husband. That’s why I’m going to marry Todd. He’s an investment banker.
SARAH
So Todd’s the sperm donor.
LISA
He is much more than a sperm donor. He loves me and I love him and we are going to get married. I mean we could get married in a couple of months but then I would have to get one of those maternity wedding gowns, but that is so white trash, and you know Vera Wang does not design maternity wedding dresses. I mean I could get an off the rack wedding dress at Kmart or something but how tacky is that? I still don’t know do I want a big wedding or a small wedding? Should I invite Chrissy? I don’t know if I want a June wedding or a September wedding? (Cell phone rings)Hello. For the love of God stop calling me! I know he’s your husband, but he won’t be for long. And for the love of God stop crying. (Hangs up)Are you seeing anyone?
SARAH
No
LISA
Come on, there must be someone
SARAH
I don’t want to talk about it
LISA
Come on, I’m your cousin, I’m family, you can tell me
SARAH
Well there was James
LISA
Cute?
SARAH
Of Course
LISA
Soooo….
SARAH
After a year and a half of dating he gets cast in this tour of King Lear. And two weeks into it he’s all “ I think the Fool is secretly in love with Cordelia” Needless to say he’s fucking her, stupid Cordelia, fucking whore. I hope she dies. That’s the trouble with those Goddamn Shakespeare guys at first its all “shall I compare the to a summer’s day” and a year and a half later its “oh that this too too solid flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew”
LISA
Well you see, what you need to realize is that a relationship takes work. Like Todd. Technically he’s still married but he is SEPERATED! When things in a relationship are challenging, I don’t walk away, I work through it. Todd and I communicate. The divorce proceedings are in the works. She can’t have children and I can and after five abortions I’m keeping this one because(beat) I’ve been feeling kind of aimless lately and I really feel like a baby would ground me. (To traffic) Hey! Choose a lane dickhead! (To Sarah) So, you’re mom is looking a lot better now that she is out of ICU. I mean when she was in ICU she looked awful and now she’s better, but she’s deteriorated since the last time you saw her- when was the last time you saw her?
SARAH
Virginia’s funeral
LISA
She looks good, just different. That’s why I wanted to take you to the hospital, because I love you-(to traffic) don’t you cut me off ASSHOLE!
I love being pregnant but the worst part of it is that I really want a cigarette! I can’t drink I can’t smoke pot, and my hormones are out of control! All right, we’re here! I’ll come back later; I have to make wedding plans with Todd
SARAH
You’re not coming up?
LISA
Sarah, I’m planning a wedding!
(Lights down. Lights up. Hospital Room)
SARAH
Mom?
FRANCES
Sarah. I’m so glad you’re here
SARAH
Is there anything I can do? Is there anything you need?
FRANCES
No dear I’m fine, the maid was just here.
SARAH
You mean the nurse.